Pickups, Sea-Doos, and Road Head

My trip to Indiana was endless and brutal as usual. A busy end to a very busy weekend. As we were backing out of the driveway my wife remarked "Why do you make shitty days worse?" Not sure. A gift I guess. It set the tone for a crappy day.

Magic bus all loaded up and headed south. Kids cranky, natch. I swear as soon as we hit the border of Indiana it starts to smell. The state has an odor like dead cat which doesn't help my mood. We get to grandma smokey pants' antique(junk) store. Filled to the brim with crap of all shapes and colors. All with one common characteristic. Fragile! Perfect to unleash my three angels who happen to specialize in breaking and wrecking. Then we waited, and waited, and waited for one of my BIL's to show up. He's forever late. Not sure why, no kids to pack up or any real responsibilities at all, must be nice. He shows up with his girlfriend and a dog. The more the merrier.

The plan was to go to a park and have a picnic let the kids run around. Nixed by the birthday girl in favor of a local fair. Obstacle one. No dogs allowed. OK we will just grab some fair food and head back to the junk store. Endless waiting in the hot sun for food to be decided on and purchased. Kids chomping at the bit for some ride-type fun. Are we staying or going? Not sure, more waiting, more sweating, more kid pulling. Then it's decided, they will all head back to junk-o-rama while me and the missus take care of the kidlets and their ride jones. Some hot family fun later we are headed back to the store for cake and ice cream. A couple more hours of "don't touch that" and "no we aren't going to the park" and "no you can't play in the street" until we pack them back up and head home.

On the way home I pass a pick-up truck pulling a sea-doo. I glance in the cab and see the driver getting a blow job from his passenger. She lifts her head up and I see she still has her shades on! Perfect. I then look over at my sleeping wife. She even looks a little angry in her sleep. A glance in the rear view mirror and I see the kids some sleeping some just plugged in to the movie but quiet for the first time all day. A rare silence in the magic bus which is just as good as a road job. Not that I'd know.

Did I want to be in the pickup? Fucking A, I did. I've never gotten a blow job while driving a car. I can't even remember the last blow job I got, period, much less OTC. Not even sure the last time I've had sex, feels like a few weeks. And the last time I got fucked? I mean really fucked, not just allowed to have sex? Unclear... not that this post will exactly help the cause.

Not sure maybe it's a "midlife" thing, a "how did I get here" thing. Maybe it's watching Gran Torino and seeing that sad old dude decide that death was a good plan. Don't worry, I won't be getting my hair dyed and/or buying a chopper anytime soon. Just feels like a big, tired, sigh that won't quit.

The endless day ended with my daughter pitching a fit and choosing screaming over sleeping. She finally quit around midnight which meant four solid hours of sleep for me if I wanted to workout in the morning. I overslept and missed my workout, natch...

Happy Monday.